Mark and I got back last night from the Empower to Connect conference in Nashville, sponsored by Show Hope, and can I tell you....it was simply AWESOME!!! We both agreed as we reflected over our weekend how grateful we are to learn ways of connecting with our adopted child before we actually get him. I'm hoping I'll retain some of the strategies that Karyn Purvis talked about in regards to building a trust based relationship. I had no idea how complicated bonding can be in a child who is not biologically yours. I found myself debating whether or not any of this would really apply to our adoption. After all, Noah had a normal pregnancy, normal delivery, and his mom tried to take care of him for about 5 months. The only issue he had was spending 17 days in NICU right after he was born. I guess you never really know until you get your child home and see how it goes. At risk of major transparency, I also let it cross my mind that, because my child has Down Syndrome, I'm definitely not going to have to worry about reactive attachment disorder. They're just too loving....right?? I have no idea. But this is what went through my mind as I was sitting there listening to testimonies from couples that had dealt with this. None of them had adopted a child with Down Syndrome. Maybe we have eluded this undesirable area of the adoptive world. Here's what I will take away from this conference...
1. Spend more time nurturing my children, I have too much of a dismissive attachment parenting style
2. Give my children probiotics and less antibiotics so that dopamine levels don't rise (this is complicated to try to explain, but I will be doing research on this topic and using it in my everyday advise to parents that bring their children to the clinic).
3. There are LOTS of resources for adoptive families. Empower to Connect is a great starting point.
While we were at the conference, we met several wonderful people. I'd like to give a shout out to my new friends Angie, Laura, and Melanie!!! Hey girls!!!!! Angie and Laura were at the conference with us and we randomly met and decided to go to lunch together. Here we come Chile Burrito (wonderful food by the way). While we were there, Mark noticed a couple at a table with 2 children with Down Syndrome. Naturally, we had to get the story. This is where we were blessed by the story of Melanie and Chappy Hollis!!! They just adopted their little boy and are a member of a middle Tennessee support group. Not sure if it's a support group for adoption or DS, but sounds Awesome!!!! And, she even knew a mutual friend!! Small world for sure! Now we're all facebook friends forever (FFF)!!!
Nonetheless, it was a great trip, Karyn Purvis is wonderful, Michael and Amy Monroe are wonderful, Dan and Terri Coley are wonderful, and Debbie Jones is wonderful (and Tanner ;)). If you have an adopted child...it is so worth going to this conference, you would not regret it!
On a side note, please pray that we hear from Hong Kong this coming week. Tuesday will be exactly 3 months and 2 weeks since our dossier was received. We are so close!!!
