Our social worker came out to the house this evening for the final home study visit. We ate pizza first and then she took a tour of the house. All fire extinguishers and smoke detectors were in place, and medicine put in it's rightful spot :) Unfortunately, Ashton's room suffered a pretty significant water damage problem and we had the carpet and padding ripped off the floor and all the furniture was gathered together in the center of the room. It was quite comical to introduce Debby to this room and inform her that this would be the room that our adopted son would share with Ashton. You should have seen the look on her face! hahaha! I think she mentioned needing to come back and see this room again! I can't blame her, it was quite a mess, and not fit for anyone to sleep in. But, fear not, since it has been several weeks since this home study (I'm late posting), there is a brand new beautiful laminate wood floor in this bedroom and all furniture put back in place. It looks like a real bedroom again! Thank you Mark for all your hard work! I love you!!! Now to paint the walls and change the theme to Spiderman!!! It will look really neat when we're done! So the social worker said that she would take about 30 days to type up the home study and then we would be working on some form called an 1800A and then to the dossier.
I saw an encouraging bible verse from K-Love this morning that spoke to my heart.
How great is our Lord! His power is absolute! His understanding is beyond comprehension. Psalm 147:5
This verse told me just to be patient and not get my heart set on one particular child, but to wait for the Lord because he has already gone before me and chosen the perfect child for us :)
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Individual Interviews...Done!! 11-11-11
Friday was such an exciting day! First of all, our sweet little Ashton turned 6 years old! It is amazing to me how quickly the years have gone by already. We took him to Stevie B's pizza (his choice) and he got Cars 2...he's probably already watched it 10 times!!!
Mark and I had our interviews at Bethany Christian Services. They started around 9:30 and ended about 3:00. It was a long day, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Debby interviewed me first while Mark watched 2 videos about adoption. In the interview, she asked questions about a questionnaire we filled out when we first got there that asked about drug history, abuse history, counseling history, and pregnancy history. I'm afraid I'm not very interesting from any of those stand points. She also asked about how my childhood was and how I get along with the in-laws! I'm blessed to have such wonderful family, both on my side and my husband's. We grabbed lunch at Corky's BBQ, which has become habit while hanging out at Bethany. When we came back, Mark was then interviewed while I watched the videos. We were both humored by the fact that Debby was intrigued with Mark's past, and we marvelled at how much of a different man he is today, thanks to the Lord and His Grace!!!
The first video was a documentary of an adoptive woman's journey to find her biological family and heal the open wound in her heart that she has never been able to close. It was actually a sad video because when she finds her mom and brothers and sisters, she can't communicate with them because she doesn't speak their language, and the culture is completely different, so she still feels out of place. Adoptive mother kept reminding her subtly that SHE was her mother, not this other lady that birthed her. I hope I never act like that, I don't think it made her daughter feel any better. Any way, in the end, she basically had to agree to just accept her adoptive parents as her true parents, mainly because she knew the relationship with her mom in Korea would be distant. It really made me think at what age will my adoptive child question where he came from and how much grief and loss will he suffer as a result of being taken out of Hong Kong and placed in a family that looks different than him. I will have open communication with him about this....for sure!!!
The second video was basically a round table discussion of several adopted adults and their struggle with fitting in due to being in a transcultural family. Most of the people in this video were African American who were raised by white parents. But I could see how it might be awkward if you were the only person from a different ethnic background. I took from this video that I need to make sure I surround myself and my child with people who look like him so he won't feel like he's the only one that looks that way. I'm already prepared for this anyway!!!
Our next meeting is December 2 at our house! Anyone wanna volunteer to clean my house??? JK! We do need to get new carpet in Ashton's room before Debby comes....it looks terrible in there right now! Well....that's all for now! I'll post soon :)
Mark and I had our interviews at Bethany Christian Services. They started around 9:30 and ended about 3:00. It was a long day, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Debby interviewed me first while Mark watched 2 videos about adoption. In the interview, she asked questions about a questionnaire we filled out when we first got there that asked about drug history, abuse history, counseling history, and pregnancy history. I'm afraid I'm not very interesting from any of those stand points. She also asked about how my childhood was and how I get along with the in-laws! I'm blessed to have such wonderful family, both on my side and my husband's. We grabbed lunch at Corky's BBQ, which has become habit while hanging out at Bethany. When we came back, Mark was then interviewed while I watched the videos. We were both humored by the fact that Debby was intrigued with Mark's past, and we marvelled at how much of a different man he is today, thanks to the Lord and His Grace!!!
The first video was a documentary of an adoptive woman's journey to find her biological family and heal the open wound in her heart that she has never been able to close. It was actually a sad video because when she finds her mom and brothers and sisters, she can't communicate with them because she doesn't speak their language, and the culture is completely different, so she still feels out of place. Adoptive mother kept reminding her subtly that SHE was her mother, not this other lady that birthed her. I hope I never act like that, I don't think it made her daughter feel any better. Any way, in the end, she basically had to agree to just accept her adoptive parents as her true parents, mainly because she knew the relationship with her mom in Korea would be distant. It really made me think at what age will my adoptive child question where he came from and how much grief and loss will he suffer as a result of being taken out of Hong Kong and placed in a family that looks different than him. I will have open communication with him about this....for sure!!!
The second video was basically a round table discussion of several adopted adults and their struggle with fitting in due to being in a transcultural family. Most of the people in this video were African American who were raised by white parents. But I could see how it might be awkward if you were the only person from a different ethnic background. I took from this video that I need to make sure I surround myself and my child with people who look like him so he won't feel like he's the only one that looks that way. I'm already prepared for this anyway!!!
Our next meeting is December 2 at our house! Anyone wanna volunteer to clean my house??? JK! We do need to get new carpet in Ashton's room before Debby comes....it looks terrible in there right now! Well....that's all for now! I'll post soon :)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Joint Interview Friday, October 28. 2011
Today we completed our joint interview, which is part of the home study. Debby asked us questions regarding how Mark and I met, how long we dated, where we got married, how did the kids respond. Also she asked do we do anything fun as a family! LOL!!! Our family is nothing BUT fun!!!! Where do the kids go after school or on vacation days when we have to work, and how are chores divided amongst everyone! We also watched a 30 minute video about talking to your child about inappropriate touching and identifying sexual abuse. Ironically, we just watched a 3 hour webinar regarding this same issue before we worked Camp Barnabas back in July. I guess the Lord wants this message ingrained in our head :) Note to self, talk to my other children, especially the little ones, about STRANGER DANGER!!!!! I felt like overall, the interview went very well, so we have our individual interviews scheduled for 11-11-11 (Ashton's birthday)!!! More to come......
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Bethany paperwork is in!!
I am very excited to post that we have turned in the very first packet of paperwork that was needed for the adoption agency. This information includes medical exams, drug screens, birth certificates, marriage license, divorce papers, tax information, personal financial statement etc. It took about 4 weeks to get it all together. I guess now we wait to start the home study!!! YEA!!!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Informational Meeting 9-8-11
We had a wonderful informational meeting and getting to know our social worker, Debby. She is a very pleasant woman and very knowledgeable. I’m looking forward to my Hague training videos and the books I get to read. We told her our interest in 2 boys on the photo listing and she printed off a few extra bits of information and photos of them. Immediately, my heart was drawn to “Timothy” and I immediately felt like he belonged to me. I am pretty convinced that God has chosen this child. I am no longer intimidated by ISS adoption, and so I see no reason why I shouldn’t just go for it. Mark is all about Timothy as well, so we will pray about this decision and let the SW know on monday. Our biggest hurdle right now will be finding a doctor to sign all our medical forms. I have been caring for the family when they get sick, so no one has a designated doctor that they see. Since I don’t have a doctor in my clinic, I have to go find one. How strange is that??? I have managed to fill out just about all the other paperwork aside from the financial statement (Mark’s job!).
And So We Begin...September 5, 2011
I am so excited about this journey, I can’t begin to explain or express it to you. In some ways, I feel like how you feel when you first find out your pregnant. The anticipation of the next 9 months, the vision of another pair of feet pitter pattering across the floor, and love for someone I’ve never even met yet. To catch you up, we have submitted our formal application and it has been approved!!! I’m praying that that means despite our age difference, despite a previous marriage for both of us, and despite Mark’s age of over 50, they see no problems with us adopting! Our first home study meeting in Thursday at Bethany Christian Services. The social worker said it is an informational meeting, contracts to sign, and whatever questions we have to ask (and we do have plenty). She thinks it will take around 2 hours. I will post again when the meeting is over and let you know how it went.
My new favorite verse that I think is so appropriate for this journey is Matthew 18:5 ”And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.”
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